Thursday, September 19

Currently v.31

Changing... over to Autumn. The yard is almost packed up, cleaned up and ready for the deep freeze; the Begonia's in front of our house dried up and have been replaced by my favorite fall plant - living lanterns - and I'm planning a wreath DIY for our front door. Thicker blankets are on stand by - since we're still hitting mid-20C/80F degree temperatures - and I'm dreaming of Chai Spiced Muffins, hot tea and slow cooker dinners. And cardigans and scarves. And Halloween costumes.

Remembering... early dismissal. Hopefully. I forgot the first week of school. Shockingly, Ryan remembered and reminded me. !!! What!?!? So I set an alarm on my phone to go off 20 minutes before the bell on early dismissal days. Otherwise I would be That Mom at least three times a month.

Needing... an end. As seems to be the case with all birthdays, holidays or Tuesdays, my mother took Graysen's birthday as an opportunity to stir the shit pot. Again. Inside Graysen's birthday card were two letters - one from my mother and one from my grandmother. My name was spelled wrong, the letters were mostly incoherent and nonsensical, blaming me for everything, naturally, and calling my behaviour 'disgraceful.' Funny since I have done nothing - I've not made contact or responded to any letters, texts or phone calls in months - and my mother has lied repeatedly, accused me of stealing, generally harassed me for over a year and contacted me at least four times to tell me she WILL NOT be contacting me again. (Not to mention the repeated demands that I return keepsakes and other family items that were given to me years ago.) I just want an end. I'm by no means happy with what's happened or where we are but it is what it is and, at this point, cannot be undone. The only thing left to do is move on. I'm trying. I wish she would too.

Cleaning... all the things. All the time. Still? Again? I don't know if I am unknowingly slacking, if the boys are being extra messy or if it's just some cosmic force of dirt but I feel like I am an upstream swimming salmon lately. Plus the PURGE ALL THE THINGS bug has bitten me again and I've been itchin' to rip apart the house and fill our car (at least 3 times) with Goodwill donations.

Feeling... like a Coughy McSickerson. And that's how you know school has begun. Sigh.... It started with a cough at the end of August that I am sure came from a stinky plane co-passenger, then Graysen gave me his cough and then school started and Phlegm City, here we are!! Gross. And annoying.


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