Monday, February 25

Reason #2,768 Why Boys are Awesome

During bedtime last week I discovered Graysen's hidden talent.

He can pee ON COMMAND!!!

Let me start at the beginning.

Little G-dude has just started becoming aware of his diaper and it's contents.

He will point to a full diaper and say, emphatically, "YUCKY!!"

And sometimes he will ask to be changed or tell us when he's pooped.

Graysen has also realized his pen.is can be a kind of hose.

He discovered this after peeing on the bath mat a few times.

Ryan and I have never made a big deal out of messes or accidents and if we leave an untrained child un-diapered for too long....well, that's what you get - pee on the bath mat.

Plus Kadyn once peed directly into Ryan's mouth - IMPECCABLE timing on that one - and I once gave Kadyn 3 servings of prunes at once.

In other words, we've seen it all, we have two boys, we take it in stride.

And it doesn't get much cuter than a freshly bathed, dripping wet 2 year old staring quizzically at his pee stream.

When your 2 year old sees you laughing at him peeing on the floor, well then it becomes a game!!

It started with random bath mat waterings.

It's now purposeful.

And threatening.

Any time that boy is diaperless, he taunts me with pee.

He'll look down at his pen.is as if he's sending a telepathic message to it, then he looks at me, smirks and starts, "Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!" warning me that he might pee. He might.

Of course, Mama freaks out, frantically searches for a diaper and Graysen lays on the floor (or wherever I am changing him) laughing his naked little ass off.

Then last week at bedtime, the little stinker upped it a notch.

Graysen was standing on his change table while I dried him off after his bath.

We were giggling and playing, drying off and such when Graysen decided to bust out his pee game.

Standing up, he nods to his pen.is, looks at me, smirks and starts with the "Ah! Ah! Ah!"

He's naked, tummy sticking out and so fucking cute, I can't help but laugh as I am saying, "Don't you DARE pee!"

This only fuels his fire(hose).

As does his brother, who has come into Graysen's room, sat in the chair behind us and lost himself in giggles.

Graysen starts peeing.

I shove his towel into his crotch.

He stops peeing.

I take the towel away.

He giggles, sticks out his tummy and pees AGAIN!

I shove the towel in his crotch.

Graysen is uncontrollably laughing.

And he stops peeing again.

I pull the towel away, but only a little this time.

Quick thinking monkey that he is, he turns to the right and pees off the side of the change table.

I shove the towel in his crotch, completely unable to stop myself from laughing.

Kadyn's still killing himself in the recliner behind us.

Graysen has an audience now. There is no stopping this pee machine.

He alternates between sticking his tummy out and peeing off the side of the change table and the front.

All the while laughing like a hyena.

I'm juking to the left, juking to the right, trying anticipate his next move and at least have the towel in the vicinity of the pee.

All of us, in stitches.

Finally I send Kadyn out of the room, fearing that the three of us together would NEVER get ahold of ourselves.

He protests, "But I wanna watch Graysen pee on you!"

Of course you do, bud. Of course you do.

Kadyn sulks into his room.

Graysen looks at me, dejectedly.

He sticks his tummy out.

I can tell the tank is finally empty.

"All outta pee?" I ask.

"Uh huh," he pouts.

He gives it one last push.

Nothing.

His shoulders drop, head sinks and he lets out a very sad, "Awwwwww."

"Jammie time?"

"Uh huh."

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