Thursday, February 21

Currently v.5

Taking... nothing for granted. All four of us are healthy. We have a nice home, with heat, power and running water, always. Tons of good food to eat, closets full of clothes, reliable vehicles, money in the bank and a few creature comforts. And we have love. We have much to be grateful for. I've been trying to instill that knowledge in Kadyn (because gratitude is not often his attitude) and I am trying to live a more grateful life.

Giving... less of myself. My husband often tells me I care too much. (You can stop rolling your eyes at me now.) It is true though. I will put myself out without a second thought for people I love and care about. When I know someone has a problem or needs something, my immediate thought is, "How can I help? What can I do?" Stray animal? You bet I'm wrangling the poor thing, bringing it home and either finding it's home or taking it to the shelter. Lost child? I'm the first one to step in, calm the child and try to find the parent. Friend in a jam? I'm there. You need something? Let me get it for you.

The problem is I'm not getting what I give. I don't give just to get, not at all. But I do treat others how I would like to be treated, I put out what I hope to get back. It just rarely happens. Even when I ASK for help. I've found myself incredibly sad and hurt by people who've taken advantage me, are ungrateful for what I've done, who can't be bothered to help me when I've needed it or who just can't seem to be bothered period.

It's kind of a weird dichotomy. Do I treat others the way I want to be treated or do I treat them the way they treat me? For the most part, I'll be trying the later. The former isn't really working for me so well.

Teaching... my boys to behave like humans. Because they rarely do. I love them but they are decorum-less BEASTS most of the time. I don't expect this to change until sometime in their 30s but Ima keep trying anyway.

Learning... photography. I'm halfway through my second class and loving every minute of it. I've learned so much. Never, ever again will I shoot in manual. NEVER!

Looking... forward. I've spent some time lately looking backward. It's been very.......educational. In all seriousness, it was good. Eye opening. And I will, no doubt, spend some time looking back in the future. (Ha!) But for this moment, I want to look forward. And right in front of me, too.

How about you? What are you taking, giving, teaching, learning and looking?


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