Monday, January 21


How are ya? It's been a while.

I'm doing alright.

It's been an interesting few months. Lots going on in and out of my head.

I'm hoping to back date a few posts in the near future. Even though this is a public blog, my main goal (at this point in time anyway) is documenting our lives and it bothers me that 4 months are missing.

Here's a quick run down of some of the goings on around here:

  • Graysen was involved in a freak (yet totally preventable) accident resulting in 17+ stitches and 2 surgeries in 2 months. I don't know that I will ever write about what happened but I will say that, at the time of this writing, he is about 98% recovered. That's about the absolute best we could hope for and there doesn't appear to be any lasting effects. (the resiliency of children never ceases to amaze me.) I am so very grateful for the specialist and his team who took care of Graysen. I can't say enough about them, they were wonderful.

  • We had a spooktacular Halloween! Graysen REFUSED to wear his costume but Kadyn rocked his Ghostbuster suit and I was a purdy cute cowgirl, if I do say so myself. I was lucky enough to be able to help out Kadyn's class with their Halloween party and I had a great time!

  • Things between my mother and I are even worse than they were in the summer - if that's even possible. She continues to harass and attack me via text messages, accused me of stealing from my grandmother (15 years ago) who my mother wound right up to the point of her calling the house and threatening to call the police on me. My mother also moved my grandmother out of the home she was in and back to their shared condo. I'm assuming this is because welfare told my mother to get off her ass and get a job. My grandmother's pension means my mother doesn't have to work. It's also a surefire way to keep me from my grandmother. It's all just so dysfunctional and unhealthy. For the most part, I do not respond to the texts but my mother continues whether I respond or not. She told me there would be NO further communication from her in November, yet she keeps on keeping on. It has become crystal clear to me that her goal is to hurt me as much as she possibly can, at any cost. Obviously that realization hurt deeply but the clarity makes my choices that much easier.

  • Ryan and I went to our first parent/teacher interview as PARENTS. Scary, man. Kadyn's teacher had nothing but good things to say about him (and I can't say enough about Kadyn's teacher and TAs.) and says he is doing very well in class. He is ALWAYS happy and enthusiastic. Sometimes and little TOO happy and enthusiastic but all in all, a great report. Kadyn's first report card was more of the same, pretty much exactly what I was expecting. Dude needs to work on not being silly at inappropriate times, using his indoor voice and NOT joining in when other kids are doing something they shouldn't be. Totally my kid. I couldn't be more proud. 

  • Christmas was pretty awesome! We went to Kadyn's first ever Christmas concert. I managed to hold back tears, but just barely. He was adorable. All the kids were. We spent a quiet Christmas at home. Well, as quiet of a Christmas as one can have with two EXTREMELY excited boys. Ryan had 2 weeks off so we spent tons of time just hanging out as a family of four. It was really nice to spend so much time together.

  • I started an online photography class and have classes scheduled until May. They aren't anything special, basic 4-week courses but I am excited to be moving in a forward direction. And to be learning. Knowledge is power! Yeah!

  • We found a babysitter!! Actually 2 sitters! Ryan and I went out, just the two of us, maybe 3 times last year. That's taken a HUGE toll on our marriage. We signed up for what is basically a dating website for nannies/sitters/caregivers and parents. We had no luck at first but then we found a wonderful girl who is everything we were looking for. She's probably more qualified to take care of the boys than Ryan and I are. And the boys LOVE her. Then we found another and are making arrangements to meet a possible third sitter. I'm excited for Ryan and I to spend more time together OUT of the house but I am also excited for the boys to spend time and have experiences with someone other than Ryan and I. Since neither of our families are involved in our lives at all, they don't really get that. Plus I have awesome memories of my childhood sitters, I want my boys to have that, too. I think every kid should have a super fun sitter who gives them treats and lets them stay up way too late. 

  • We lost a sitter. A month after we found the most amazing sitter in the whole entire world, she was offered a job in another town. It's her dream job. She moved to this province because there is no work in her hometown, so to find her DREAM JOB is pretty fantastic. For her. Not so much for us. We do have another girl, and we like her, but I don't love her like I love our first sitter. Sigh.....

  • I've spent A LOT of time in my head over the last few months, thinking A LOT. It kinda feels a bit like a mid-life crisis even though I haven't yet hit mid-life. There's been a lot going on for me socially. Stuff between Ryan and I, stuff with my mother, stuff with friends, stuff with myself, stuff with the boys. Stuff everywhere. I've taken a good, long look at myself, what I want, what I need, who I am, who I want to be, the choices I've made, the things I want to do, the people in my life, everything. I have some work to do. For the most part, I'm excited about it. Feels like much needed and wanted growth and change.

  • Kadyn earned his first stripe at Jiu Jitsu!!! I am totally making a bigger deal out of this than I should be. At Kadyn's age, stripes are purely attendance based. Technically Ryan and I earned the stripe since Kadyn's attendance would be non-existant without us and our bank account but we're letting K-man take the credit. And we're very proud nonetheless. Kadyn enjoys Jiu Jitsu and it's good for him. He was so proud when his instructor gave him his stripe. Heart, melted.

  • Since December 25, Ryan and I have watched the first 3 seasons of Sons of Anarchy - and started the fourth. If you don't think that's worthy of mention in this update, you've never watched SOA. I am so hooked on this show, sometimes I wake up thinking I am SAMCRO. If only MC life was like TV....

That pretty much sums up the last 4 months. Doesn't seem like a lot, at least not enough to warrant a 4 month hiatus but I've left out a lot of details. Details that just can't be summarized and details I haven't yet decided if I want to share. And I'm still sorting through/working on a lot of it.

I'm excited to be back here. I haven't been writing OR reading and I've missed so many of you. 

Also, as you can see, Manic Mama has a new look. I made a small name change - just Manic Mama now - and I've updated everything. Have a look around, lemme know what you think!

Good to see you again!

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