Tuesday, September 18

The Story of Us Part V

August 6, 2012 marked 11 years together for Ryan and me.

Eleven years together, six of those married.

I love our story.

From the first 18 years of chance meetings and unbelievable coincidences to the last six years of marriage, parenthood and figuring out, well, everything.

I never want to forget how we came to be or all that we've been through to get here.

Catch up with Part I here, Part II here, Part III here and Part IV here.


It's fitting that Part V is the story of our wedding day - Ryan and I married on our 5th anniversary.

That was very important to me, getting married on our anniversary.

I'm not sure why. I guess it was because I didn't want to just pick some arbitrary day. I wanted the day to mean something.

I also thought it would be the first step in being a good wife - NOT giving my husband-to-be ANOTHER date to remember.

Being The Story of Us you'd think our wedding day would be the pinnacle of the tale - or at least a very major highlight.

It's not.

In fact, I don't really like talking about it that much, I don't have the fondest memories of the day and, if we could do it all over again....well, we wouldn't.

Except for my dress.

I love my dress so, so much. 

I love it now just as much as I did then.

Isn't it beautiful?

It's sitting in a box in my closet because, even though I know I will never wear it again, I can't bear to part with it. I love it so much.

Plus I went through hell and back to get it.

I started my search for a dress online. A good ol' "Wedding dresses" Google search.

Not long into my search I found a picture of this dress - instant love.

I called a few bridal houses in town and no one would help me.

I went into a few bridal houses in town and no one would help me.

So I gave up.

I tried on a shitton of other dresses and didn't even like a single one. None of them came close to the dress I loved.

My heart was set.

So, picture in hand, I went in search again. I found ONE bridal house who could get the dress.

But they didn't want to.

It was a discontinued dress so they didn't have a sample and brides DO NOT order dresses from a picture. They just don't.

I convinced them that this was my dress. I HAD to have it. If it came in and I hated it, I would buy it anyway. I HAD to have it. Finally they caved and ordered the dress - telling me I was INSANE the entire time.

The dress came in, I went to the bridal house and tried it on.

It was perfect. Absolutely perfect.

I knew it was my dress the moment I put it on.

And I kinda loved how every girl who was in the shop for any of my fittings commented on my beautiful dress and asked if they could get the same dress.

Nope. Mine was the last one.

And that's where the happy wedding stuff ends.

I find it hard to talk about our wedding without sounding like a whiny bitch.

First of all, over half our guest list RSVP'd with a 'No.'

When you have a guest list of under 100 people, over half declining the invite kinda sucks. And it makes you feel VERY unimportant. Among other things.

Secondly, just about every guest who would be coming to OUR wedding had a comment or a complaint.

Because Ryan and I paid for everything (save for my dress) we decided on a small ceremony with only our closest family and friends and a cocktail reception with an extended invitation to the rest of our friends.

You have NO idea how many complaints we got about this. We even lost friends completely over it. (In fact, I think I can count on one hand the number of people who were invited or attended who we still talk to. And none of them regularly.)

"We don't hang out AT ALL anymore. I haven't even seen or talked to you in MONTHS, quite possibly OVER A YEAR, but HOW DARE YOU not make me a more important part of YOUR WEDDING!?!?!"

I may be paraphrasing there.

Ok, so maybe I entirely fabricated that quote.

The people who were pissed about their invite didn't actually say anything to us. They just bitched and complained to the other guests who so considerately relayed the complaints to us and tried to convince us to change the invitations.

Over and over and over.

Or they made comments in our presence but refused to speak directly to us.

(It's really so nice to be out with a large group of friends and hear from across the table, "No, no. It's fine. If they don't want me at their wedding, I won't go. It's fine.")

In addition to many of our guests being assholes, the entire wedding party was wholly uninterested.

Ryan went through 3 best men before asking a close female friend (who we no longer speak to). My best friend at the time went MIA (and is still MIA) and I only had one other person to ask to be my Maid of Honor (and we no longer speak). We didn't have an engagement party, a shower or a stag/stagette. (People in the wedding party are supposed to do that stuff, are they not?) No one really helped with anything. It was all Ryan and I.

For the months leading up to the wedding (and the wedding day itself) I felt very alone.

I thought family and friends were supposed to help, be all up in there like a dirty shirt. But everyone we tried to include seemed to do the exact opposite.

The day of the wedding I was alone in a hotel room until well after noon because my part of the wedding party was busy.

I actually called Ryan to come hang out with me so I wouldn't be a depressed, sobbing mess on my wedding day.

(I'd like to interject here to say that I was NOT a Bridezilla. Our wedding party did not abandon me because I was such a bitch they didn't want to be around me. In fact I think I was the exact opposite of that.

When the MOH refused to wear the colour green I wanted for her and the Best Woman's dress, I conceded and let her pick the shade of green she wanted.

Three days before the wedding when the final fittings were taking place and we realized that the MOH's dress and the Best Woman's dress were two different colours, I didn't freak out. I simply told the bridal house to fix it before the wedding. And they did.

And when my MOH saw the Best Woman's incorrect dress (which was the original shade of green I wanted) and said that she would have preferred that colour over the colour she chose, I bit my tongue clean in half.

So, Bridezilla I was not.)

Skipping ahead here to the reception....

The invitations clearly stated it would be a cocktail reception.

The ceremony was short and sweet, starting just after 6 pm and ending by 6:30 pm.

(Most of the guests were late so the ceremony didn't start on time.)

We then told everyone to grab a quick bite on the way to the reception, which was a little more than 30 minutes away and didn't start until 8 pm.

Ryan and I arrived at the hotel (reception locale) shortly after 9 pm. Ryan's best woman (who had ridden in our limo with us because he car broke down) picked up a few guests and took our limo half an hour away to a friend's BBQ.

Yes. She did.

We were then informed by the hotel's manager and event coordinator that people arrived straight from the gardens (where the ceremony was) and were rude and borderline belligerent with the front desk staff about the reception room being locked.

This was barely after 7 pm.

The room was opened at 8 pm - as it should have been - and the guests descended upon the food like starving vultures.

By the time Ryan and I got there, there was nothing left, despite hotel staff asking the guests to wait until we arrived.

The reception itself was a complete bust since we had no emcee, no speeches, no dancing, nothing.

No one wanted to emcee.

No one wanted to say anything.

No one wanted to do anything.

One of our guests wrapped their present in garbage bags and another tucked a bottle of Jaegermeister in his jacket.

When I told him to get rid of it, I was laughed at.

And that was the reception.

Back to the ceremony, because I would like to end this part of our story on a good note.

Ryan and I chose to have our ceremony in a garden just outside the city.

It was simple and beautiful and perfect.

(Though dealing with the staff at the garden was an utter nightmare.)

I arrived - ON TIME - via a swanky SUV limo (they ran out of regular limos so they upgraded us for free) looking and feeling absolutely gorgeous.

Ryan was there in his perfectly tailored Dolce & Gabanna suit and sneaks.

Those shoes are awesome, right?!

The ceremony started quite rocky since the wedding coordinator (who we never actually met) didn't bother showing up for the rehearsal and the girls she sent were clueless.

But when I got to Ryan and our officiant (who was so incredibly amazing) started the ceremony, the entire world melted away. It was the strangest feeling and I remember it so clearly. I almost wished it was just the three of us. It might as well have been for all I cared.

I remember looking at Ryan and being in utter awe over how in love with him I was. I thought I might burst. Never in my life had I felt so strongly and so sure of something. I knew, and I've always known, I was meant to marry Ryan.

There may not be a whole lot about our wedding that I look back upon fondly but those few minutes with Ryan are all that matter.

And when I think about our wedding, that is what I think about.


Next week - The Honeymoon. And the Honeymoon Surprise.

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