It was probably the hardest thing I have ever done.
His bum issues were not getting better and we (Mickey included) just couldn't live the way we were any longer.
We made an appointment with a different vet for Thursday of last week.
Ryan and I had talked (and talked and talked and talked) and even though we both said that all paths led to putting him down, we still couldn't commit to it.
What would happen at the vet was still up in the air.
And then I found a tooth on my couch on Thursday. I looked in Mickey's mouth and sure enough, it was one of his teeth.
So on top of the $150 blood tests to hopefully find out what was going on with his bum, he would need dental work as well.
We're looking into the thousands of dollars here.
And Mickey was 14 years old.
I wish we had the money to get whatever treatments Mickey would have needed but even if we did, we probably wouldn't have done it. He was 14. I wouldn't want to put him through all that at his age. There weren't any guarantees he would even come out of surgery should he need it for his bum troubles - and he would definitely need it for his dental issues.
So an hour before our appointment, Ryan called to ask about putting him down.
The tooth was a sign. And I had been begging the universe for a sign for weeks.
I knew it was the right choice but finally making the decision made it so much harder. So much harder.
I adopted Mickey when he was 6 weeks old.
Someone left him and his brothers and sisters in a box on the side of the highway - way before they should have been taken away from their mother. Somehow, and very luckily, they ended up at the animal shelter but, for reasons unknown to me, the shelter was going to euthanize them if they couldn't find homes for them.
My boyfriend at the time talked me into adopting him. Which wasn't very hard. I am an animal lover from way back.
I came home from work the day we got him to find him cowering under our couch while my idiot boyfriend and his friends were yelling and freaking out over their stupid video games.
I scooped Mickey up with one hand and took him into the bedroom to cuddle and get to know him.
From that moment on, he was my boy.
This displeased my ex greatly as I already had Belle and Mickey was supposed to be his cat.
For as long as my boyfriend and I were together and for some time after we broke up, Mickey was a terror. I would come home from work to find him literally climbing the walls. He clawed away an area of drywall under one of the windows the size of dinner plate. I even came home one day to 24 rolls of toilet paper shredded from one corner of my house to the other. And he was often very mean to Belle.
I called my ex and told him he had to take Mickey. I couldn't handle this.
He had moved back home and his mommy said no. He also said that if I wasn't going to keep Mickey, he would have him put down.
The longer my ex was gone, the better Mickey's behaviour got until all the bad behaviours stopped completely. Mickey became the suckiest little kitty boy in history. He could soak up love and cuddles for days. He would chase laser pointers and toy mice until he was so tired he could barely move. He even chased his tail. Funniest thing ever, the way he would tease himself with his own tail. And, man! Did that cat catch some air!
No matter how old he got, he was always this funny, silly little kitty boy. He was never a cat, always a kitten.
Mickey has always been very timid and scared of loud noises. He stayed hidden almost always when Kadyn gained mobility - and a not so gentle fascination with cats. And then again with Graysen. Mickey didn't always get the attention he deserved.
And then the bum issues started.
And now here we are.
I miss him so much.
I keep telling myself that without me, he probably wouldn't have had a life at all. And the life he had was long and full of love.
But that does not change the fact that he is gone.
It is so hard to say good bye to someone who has been in your life for half of your life. Someone you loved so very much.
I know we did the right thing.
But that's simply not enough for my broken heart.
I love you, Mickey and I will carry you in my heart forever.
RIP, my friend.