Thursday, March 1

When Siblings Attack

I need help.

Or maybe I just need to crate train my children.

I don't know.

But something's gotta give. Or I'm going to lose my shit on Kadyn.

I actually may have lost my shit on him yesterday.

I am not too proud to admit that I do not know how to handle my 4 year old SPITTING directly into my 17 month old's face THREE TIMES.


Especially when the previous day Kadyn sent Graysen flying (thankfully into a pillow) with a two-hand shove to the chest and then decided trying to poke Graysen's eyes out would be fun.


Being an only child, I feel I'm at a great disadvantage. I have NOTHING to pull from in regards to dealing with siblings.

I do completely get the whole sibling rivalry though. I know Kadyn and Graysen are going to fight and bicker and get on each other's nerves for the rest of their lives. Graysen has already perfected the annoying little brother schtick and Kadyn plays the annoyed older brother part quite well - and also does his fair share of picking on his little bro.

There are lots of squabbles that I don't get involved in because they are simply normal sibling stuff. And they work it out on their own just fine.

Well I don't know that they work it out per se but it's nothing I need to intervene in.

But the shoving and poking and SPITTING?

Not even remotely acceptable.

While I am so very angry with Kadyn for behaving like that, I am also shocked.

Kadyn does not behave that way.

I'm no idiot.

And Kadyn is no angel.

But he is a good kid. He is not mean or violent. And he knows spitting is NOT acceptable.

Which is why I am at such a loss.

Kadyn's behaviour lately has been SO uncharacteristic. And any sort of discipline is NBD to him.

He is sent to his room, we have a talk about what he did, why it is unacceptable, what will happen if he does it again and what he should do instead and then he usually apologizes to Graysen. (I don't force or even ask Kadyn to apologize when he's done something wrong, I do ask Kadyn to talk to Graysen (or whoever the other party is) but I don't tell him to apologize.)

But the whole process is met with such nonchalance lately that it's pretty much pointless.

Kadyn does something to Graysen.

Kadyn goes to his room.

Kadyn and I talk.

Kadyn and Graysen talk. (Sort of)

Rinse and repeat x infinity.

To the brink of insanity.

Disciplining Kadyn has always been a problem. Nothing phases him.

Nine and a half times out of ten there is something behind Kadyn's misbehaviour - Ryan's out of town or working extra long hours and Kadyn wants/need more time with him, we've been cooped up and Kadyn needs social/free crazy time, or the usual - he's tired/hungry/bored.

In these cases, we try to fix the problem rather than punish him - as well as teach him acceptable ways to express himself.

But occasionally - like in the case of Kadyn spitting in Graysen's face - there is no excuse and, in my mind, it is so unacceptable that I am not interested in teaching him anything. Even if I was, what is there to teach? Kadyn is WELL AWARE of how unacceptable spitting is. Or shoving someone halfway across the room. Or trying to poke their freaking eyes out.

So what do I do?

What do you do?

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