I'm super proud of Ryan and myself.
We're arguers. (No, that's not what I'm proud of.) Not frequently, it ebbs and flows and tends to be a monthly sort of thing. We've been arguing much less than we used to - which is truly amazing since I just spent 9 months full of hormones and crazyness - but we do argue now and again.
I know for me it is because I'm kinda spritey, constantly have a million things on my mind, constantly tired, constantly frustrated with something and trying as hard as I can to control every teeny little thing with absolute, unwavering perfection. Honestly, it's a wonder my head hasn't exploded right off my shoulders.
I pretty much go through life in a bit of a haze and completely on one track focused on the millions of things I need to do. (Yes, a focused haze. Don't question it.) And so when someone - my husband - diverts my focus or messes with my shit, I put on my gloves.
I've been working on letting things go.
When Kadyn came along, I let a lot go. I had no choice. Babies do that.
And now that we have another baby, I need to let even more things go. I need to control less. Like the haircut this past weekend - which turned out just fine without me. Imagine that!
Back to the point of this post and the reason I'm proud of us.
I've been wanting to decorate our tree for over a week but we just haven't had the time. I rearranged some furniture and put the tree up on Thursday. That's as far as we got. Ryan said we'd do it Friday. Um, we have soccer. "Oh, yeah," he says. Saturday was out as we were booked solid for the entire day. Ryan suggested Sunday night after dinner. He's adamant that we decorate the tree as a family. (I'm certainly not opposed, but Kadyn's 3 and Graysen's 2 months. How into this tree decorating thing are they going to be?)
This plan wouldn't work. I knew it wouldn't work.
We would be swimming until 5:30 and be home shortly before 6:00. Then we would have to make and eat dinner taking us to 7:00 at best. Even if everything went as planned - which NEVER happens - there is no way we'd finish the tree in half an hour.
Ryan said we'd make something quick and easy for supper and Kadyn could stay up a little bit late.
I said ok.
And not my normal 'OK' as in "Ok. If you say so. It's not gonna work and I know it so I'm just going to sit back and watch you fail." (Yeah, I can be a bag like that. I'm working on it) This was an honest to goodness, "Ok. I really don't think this is going to work, but let's go with it. I'll do what I can to make your plan happen." (How mature of me, eh?)
We didn't get home before 6:00. We were barely getting in the car at 6:00. And then we had to run to Canadian Tire to pick up fishing line for the ornaments and then drop off the recycling. We got home around 6:10. I am in 'make-dinner' mode the minute we walk in door. Ryan is not.
I turn the oven on and am about to start cutting up the sweet potatoes for fries when Ryan tells me Graysen is hungry. I tell him I turned the oven on but, clearly, can't make the fries and ask him to do it. He says yes and disappears upstairs.
Huh?
I call up to ask what he's doing - plugging his toothbrush in.
Seriously?
He comes downstairs a few minutes later with an armful of stuff.
"Ryan, it's twenty after six, the oven is on. Can you please start dinner?"
"What? It's twenty after six?"
"Uh, yeah. And the oven's been sitting on for ten minutes."
"Oh." And he goes to make dinner.
I finish feeding Graysen, get him all happy and go into the kitchen to see what I can do to help. It's just before 7:00 and we haven't eaten.
Good thing we had a plan.
I say to Ryan, "If we're decorating the tree together, it's not happening tonight. It's going to have to wait till next weekend - hopefully, if we have time."
"Why?" he says.
"It's seven o'clock and dinner isn't even ready. How late is Kadyn staying up?"
I can feel us start to argue and so I took a deep breath.
I decided I just wanted to walk away. This would be a really stupid argument and I just didn't want to be a part of it.
Ryan stopped me. "Talk to me," he says.
I take another deep breath. "Why do you do this?" I said - without attitude.
"Do what?"
"Come up with a plan but then do nothing to stick to it?"
"What do you mean?"
"It was your idea to decorate the tree tonight after dinner. To have a quick dinner after swimming and get it done. I was all about getting supper started as soon as we got home so we could eat and try to get the tree done. I had to feed Graysen so I told you the oven was on and asked you to start supper. You said yes and then wandered off to plug in your toothbrush and whatever else you were doing. Supper could have been cooking while you were doing that."
"I know. But I wanted to put some stuff away and then make supper."
"Wouldn't it make more sense to get supper in the oven and then do whatever you wanted to get done while it's cooking? Then there might have been some chance that we'd have time for the tree."
"Yeah, that would make more sense. I just didn't think about it."
"That's really frustrating for me. I didn't think this plan would work but I was all set to try anyway because you wanted to and then YOU don't do anything to help your plan."
"I know."
"Whatever. Let's just do what we can and try to get the tree done. Ok?" (I know that sounds full of attitude, but it totally was not.)
This is the kind of stupid shit that we'd turn into a huge argument. HUGE. It's ridiculous, really.
I'm happy it didn't this time.
We didn't end up starting the tree until almost 7:30 - Kadyn's bed time - but after about ten minutes, Kadyn got bored and wanted to go for a bath so he wasn't up that late after all.
Aren't you proud of us? I am. 
