We don't have dinner together during the week very often. Ryan's work hours just don't allow it. So when there is even the slightest chance of the three of us sitting down and eating dinner, like last night, I jump all over it.
We ate a little later than usual, but no big deal. Unless you are a 3 year old who takes 45 minutes to eat a grilled cheese sandwich and an apple.
This is problematic for the following reasons:
I've dedicated the last 30 minutes before bedtime to be Kadyn time. No matter what's gone on during the day, those 30 minutes are spent one-on-one playing with Kadyn - either Kadyn and I, Ryan and Kadyn or all three of us.
We sat down to eat just after 6:30 pm
Bath time is 7:30 pm
Are you doing the math here???
Here's the other problem - I slaved over and hot stove AND oven to make roasted garlic and rosemary chicken and risotto with mushrooms and green beans. Solo. And a grilled cheese and apple. (Only in my dreams does my little man eat chicken, risotto and any kind of vegetable)
I am not, for one second, complaining about making dinner by myself. I am merely stating facts.
Another fact: Ryan usually cleans up after dinner, especially when I've cooked by myself.
And, since we are being factual, Ryan walked in the door approximately 10 minutes before we sat down to eat. This means he has less than an hour to spend with Kadyn before bedtime and most of that will be spent eating dinner.
Dinner was delicious (another fact) But since Kadyn spent 45 minutes savoring his grilled cheese and apple, he had about 15 minutes of playtime before we had to clean up and get in the bath. I had used almost every pan in the house and didn't really clean up as I cooked, so there was about 15 minutes of clean up in the kitchen.
Now, here's how I saw things:
I've spent all day with Kadyn. I spend every day with Kadyn. Ryan's time with Kadyn is limited and, since I get so much time with Kadyn, I am fine with stepping back to let them have boy time. In fact, I am often elated to step back. Even if that means cleaning the kitchen.
Here's how Ryan saw things:
I cooked the entire meal by myself and he did NOTHING. It's not fair for me to cook the meal AND clean up afterwards.
Okay. Point taken.
However....
Kadyn needs boy time. It is FAR easier to get Kadyn to clean up and go for his bath if he gets the one-on-one time before bedtime. There is not enough time to clean up and spend time with Kadyn before bedtime. Ryan needs to be at work at 3 am and so needs to go to bed quite early. If he cleans after Kadyn is in bed, it cuts into my time with him.
Easiest solution: I clean the kitchen.
I was fine with it. Ryan was not.
I pretty much yelled at him to get out of the kitchen and go play with Kadyn. To which Ryan responded "I'm not very happy about this."
I'm 12 months pregnant and pretty spritey regardless so I responded, "Well, I'm sure Kadyn's happy to know you're not happy to be playing with him." (Yeah, I know. I simply cannot be held responsible for the words that come out of my mouth at this point in time.)
And Ryan replies, "No, I'm not happy with your attitude and your tone."
(We're awesome, aren't we?)
I'm pretty sure I told him to deal with it and that I was fine with cleaning the kitchen. Then he went on about that whole fairness nonsense again.... That's life!!
Sometimes you're the fly, sometimes you're the windshield. Or something...
And this fly wasn't complaining one bit. Or maybe it was the windshield that wasn't complaining.
I dunno. All I know is....
Husbands just don't understand.
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