Smack My Baby Up (Or The Beating of Our Hearts is the Only Sound)

My kids are weird. Very weird.

They like to be beat.

And people look at us funny when we do it in public.

But it's the only way we can get them to burp and, in Graysen's case, to sleep.

Kadyn was colicky and FULL of gas and the only way to get it out was to literally smack it out of him. HARD. So hard that, sometimes, I couldn't do it. And not because I was afraid I would hurt him, but because my little girly hands couldn't hit him hard enough. Ryan, on the other hand, has perfect hands for smacking small babies.

(Boy, if that ever gets taken out of context....)

(Just in case - Disclaimer: My husband DOES NOT smack small babies. Or large babies. Or any babies. Except for his babies. And they like it.)

(For some reason I don't think that disclaimer helped.)

Graysen was the exact same way until we realized that he is lactose intolerant. Once I stopped drinking milk, all his gas starting making it's way out his bum. (And it never stops. Never.) He still burps but it's much easier to get up now.

However, to get him to sleep? He likes to be smacked.

Yup. We smack our baby to sleep.

And he is very particular about the way he likes to be smacked.

He must be held chest to chest with his head resting on my shoulder. He either smushes his chin into my shoulder or nuzzles his face in the crook of my neck. And he will fidget and fuss until his face is smushed in the crook of my neck in just the right way. His inside arm is tucked into his side and his outside arm holds onto my upper arm. His legs must be tucked right up under him and one of my arms must be under his bum - he is essentially sitting on my forearm. And then he must be smacked. Hard.

I have found that he prefers to be smacked in a heartbeat rhythm. Thump-thump.....Thump-thump.....Thump-thump....Thump-thump.....Thump-thump...... (Kadyn liked the heartbeat rhythm as well, but Graysen is way more extreme. And way pickier!)

Also, the more upset he is, the harder and faster heart must be.

If he's SCREAMING - THUMP-THUMP! THUMP-THUMP! THUMP-THUMP!

And as he calms down - Thump-thump.....Thump-thump.....Thump-thump....Thump-thump.....Thump-thump...

Until he starts to drift off - Pat-pat............Pat-pat.........Pat-pat.........Pat-pat...............Pat-pat......

But if you change to quickly, he gets upset and then you have to start with the THUMP-THUMP! all over again.

My kids are weird.